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Wild Thing
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[08/20/99]

Wild Thing
Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!
Classic fairy tales get a feminist makeover for parents who don't like their princesses tricked out, locked up or comatose. But were the old ones really that bad?
By Margot Mifflin
[08/20/99]

There goes my baby
Once, I thought my daughter would win the Nobel Prize. Now that she's started college, I just hope she keeps her phone, her power, her housing -- and remembers to wake up for class.
By Stephen J. Lyons
[08/19/99]

First crush
When you're a girl, a grown man's attention can make a woman out of you.
By Maurine Shores
[08/18/99]

Hot Flash
take my tv
The American Academy of Pediatrics says children under 2 should not watch TV. Why would any parent disagree?
By Jacques Leslie
[08/17/99]

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I figured this cranky mom was an aberration. But when I told my tale to a colleague, she matched it with a disturbing story of her own. During her visit to Disney with her two young sons, they went to one of the must-attend Disney character breakfasts. Anticipating the arrival of Mickey and friends, one child became overly excited. When the characters finally arrived, he bum-rushed them, giddy and wild. Unable to keep him under control, his mom trussed him up in one of those child-leashes, the ones with a harness and plastic coiled lead. I can just imagine this poor kid, arms flailing as he's snapped back by the leash, just out of reach of Simba or Ariel, maybe even Mickey himself, hot tears spilling down his puffy toddler cheeks, wailing. That'll be a whopper of a Disney memory someday, one for the therapist's couch.

These days, the worst-behaved people at Disney theme parks are the adults.

Maybe they're pissed they had to shell out all that cash or that they gave in to their kids' whining in the first place. But maybe it's something more than being forced to consume. Disney is a kid-centric universe. Real world rules don't apply: Kids feel empowered, but adults may feel debilitated. To me, the greatest thing about Disneyland was that I could choose the rides I wanted to go and go on them as many times as I wanted. Nobody stopped me. No one said no. As adults, we look for instructions, guidelines, advice. Someone to tell us how things are supposed to be done. Apart from the Kodak photo-opportunity signs instructing you to point and shoot and the occasional warnings that pregnant women should avoid certain rides, Disney is rule-free. Even if you've read all the guidebooks and planned for the perfect Disney experience, there's no telling what your kids might decide they want to do.

Also The dark side of Disney Taking the kids to Disney World is an obligation I could've gladly done without.

A friend of mine calls Disney World a freedom zone, one of those places where kids wrest free of the adult world and experience an independence that breeds imagination and responsibility. He recalls visiting Disney World when he was 11. The highlight of his trip was driving a mini-speedboat by himself in one of the lagoons. "I remember what it was like when the adult world let me go, totally, at young ages like that," he said. "I could really take my world into my own hands." He assured me that as soon as he recovers from all the "corporate patriotic programming" Disney lodged in his brain at the time, he'll go back and ride those speedboats again.

When I asked my friends, all around 30 now, to tell me their Disney memories, most of them gushed: a first kiss in the Haunted Mansion; a chance meeting with Cher and Chastity Bono on the Dumbo the Flying Elephant ride; getting high while sailing through the Pirates of the Caribbean; hiding out in Sleeping Beauty's castle. These experiences remind them that freedom is as much the domain of adults as it is children. Disney lets adults do grownup things -- with the playfulness of kids.

So the only way to really enjoy Disney as an adult is to be like a kid. For me, it's the nostalgia of the place that lets me let go. In this Never-Never Land, I am a princess and my biggest issue is deciding whether to eat the filet mignon (hot dog) or the polenta (nachos). I don't have to ponder the merits of kissing frogs (men) or battle an evil sorceress (boss). On the stroke of midnight all my dreams will still be intact (no deadlines) and when I'm ready to go home, I'll leave the same way I came -- in a beautiful glass coach (beat up Integra).

Being an adult has its advantages. Going to Disneyland is one of them.
salon.com | Aug. 22, 1999

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