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The suggestion to eliminate stress sounds easier said than done, but recent research does support the idea. Ron McKay and Heather Cameron, of the National Institute of Neurology Disorders and Stroke at the NIH, have done some studies on mice that suggest stress hormones regulate replacement of neurons in the part of the brain that controls short-term memory. In other words, relax and you might remember the name of the guy you just met at that cocktail party.

Most of Green's advisories, like "relax" and "eat good food" are just good common sense. Common common sense. Her advice on coffee? It's OK to drink coffee, but don't drink too much coffee. Re: alcohol, Green says you can drink a little alcohol, just don't drink too much alcohol. Getting all goofed up on crystal meth -- Green doesn't say. Use your own best judgment.

Green does deal with over-the-counter drugs in Step 2, listing some, like antihistamines, that can affect your memory. And while the good doctor tells many reassuring tales throughout the book of people who thought they were losing it, only to discover they simply hadn't been paying attention, Step 2 does in fact list medical conditions that actually could result in memory loss. Hypochondriacs, then, may wish to skip to page 48, where they'll find enough ammunition to keep them happy for decades. Cancer, diabetes, lupus, Parkinson's, multiple sclerosis, Lyme disease, toxic exposure -- maybe you didn't simply misplace those keys. Maybe it's encephalitis.

Find out about memory loss due to Alzheimer's disease, click here.

And of course, it's never too soon to start obsessing about Alzheimer's. According to Dr. Larry Squire, professor of psychiatry and neuroscience at UCSD and research scientist at San Diego's VA Hospital, Alzheimer's is "not an uncommon disease. Ten percent of people between the ages of 65 and 85 will get it." But Squire, too, sounds a reassuring note for those who keep losing their keys. "Memory does weaken as we age, so people often worry that it's something more severe when in fact it isn't. If you forget you have keys, that would be more serious."

Squire and Green agree that intellectual pursuits can help keep one's marbles from leaking out of the bag. In Step 2 of "Total Memory Workout," Green suggests ways to stay mentally active. "Researchers have found that adults who report engaging in mentally stimulating activities are less likely to develop memory disorders and are more likely to age optimally," she writes. A list of "brain games" is provided:

• Do crossword puzzles
• Play bridge
• Play board games
• Do jigsaw puzzles
• With a large revolver, blow your brains all over the cards and board games and jigsaw puzzles.

That last one was mine. (True or False: To each his own.) But there's more scary stuff in the "Total Memory Workout." "Still worried that old age will bring you down?" asks Green rhetorically. "Consider these role models in healthy, productive aging." Green's list starts well -- she names Paul Newman, Grandma Moses, John Glenn and Nelson Mandela, while successfully avoiding Ronald Reagan. But then it all goes terribly wrong with the inclusion of Strom Thurmond. George Bush is also cited as an example of graceful aging, and it's true enough that age is not a problem for the ex-veep-and-prez-and-potential-future-First-Dad.

Bush was in his prime when he made statements like, "I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them," and "I'm delighted that Barbara Bush is with me today, and I -- she got a good clean bill of health yesterday from Walter Reed Hospital, I might add, and then -- but I'm taking another look at our doctor. He told her it's OK to kiss the dog -- I mean -- no -- it's OK to kiss your husband, but don't kiss the dog. So I don't know exactly what that means." It means you're as sharp now as you ever were, Mr. President.

Green's key point is that people often fail to pay attention at crucial moments, then believe that their memories are failing because they can't recall information they never took in to begin with. Squire concurs. "If a person maintains good health and pays attention," he says, "they're likely to experience improved memory." Prioritizing information is also crucial. And as Green insists, there's no reason you can't have some fun along the way. "Bored at a party?" Green asks in Step 7 -- Remembering the People You Meet. "Get everyone to play the Name Game. See how many ways you can come up with to remember each other's names. It's fun and, let's face it, it's a useful way to get to know each other."

Excellent idea. You'd definitely remember somebody's name if the two of you were to get jiggy under the kitchen table. And if someone else has a video camera, the result will be a mnemonic device that could bring everyone hours of pleasure. Thanks, Dr. Green!
salon.com | Sept. 16, 1999

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