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Ian Shoales



Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Pay-per-apocalypse: Clip-on ties vs. giant bugs! (11/13/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Now that liberals and conservatives are both extinct, it's time to stuff and mount them properly. (10/30/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
The good patient: Gum surgery turned me into a "nice" person. (10/16/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Just the FAQs, ma'am: It's question time! Send for the sen-sen! (10/02/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
If aliens drive Ford Tauruses, do skeptics drive minivans? (09/18/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
A world without a Princess. (09/04/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Duck logic, schmuck logic: For just $30,000, you can buy a car that Donald Duck wouldn't be caught dead in! (08/21/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Tools for sneering: Our columnist realizes that stardom is just too strenuous. (08/07/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Whole lotta namin' goin' on: Why Mars rocks should not be named after really weak cartoon characters, and even pedophiles deserve a little oblivion (07/24/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Color me baffled (07/10/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Jonathan Livingston Seagal (06/26/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
The president's distinguished member (06/12/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
North Dakota: America's secret Sodom (05/29/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
New media to old media: Whatever (05/15/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Ridiculous catch phrases sweep the nation! (05/01/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Monumental stupidity: Which bozo will be our next "national treasure"? (04/17/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Fantasyland: if you lived here, you'd be somewhere else now (04/03/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Angels: Menace to America (03/20/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Have another Dorito, Darth (03/06/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
How I went from washed-up hack to cyber-content-provider! (02/20/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Aquarius Are us. When Pat Boone croons heavy metal, it can only mean one thing. Well, maybe two things. OK, seven. (2/6/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
The eternal questions. Our columnist ponders over-the-counter pain medications, shoes on wires, the proliferation of Tupacs and ethics violations. (1/20/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Of Bugs Bunny's credit card, Larry Flynt and sending the wrong messages to young people. (1/6/97)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Abject adjectives. Some words have an unhealthy, symbiotic relationship to others. They must be freed. (12/23/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
The Goddam mailbag. Ian gets letters! He answers them intemperately! Now shut up! (12/9/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Christmas explained: When Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Spirit of Christmas Present, who is the spirit of Christmas past — Bruce Willis? (11/25/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Romeo and Juliet: New, improved Tragedy Lite -- tastes great, less cathartic. (11/11/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
On the link between creativity and madness -- or is it just plain obnoxious behavior? (10/28/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Kissing and spitting: our columnist finds that kids these days act too much like adults. And vice-versa. (10/14/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Our columnist searches the skies for the strange fruits of America. (9/16/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Inspired by a flurry of Republican-proposed constitutional amendments, our man has a few modest edicts of his own. (9/2/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Copy Cats. When in doubt, our columnist simply asks himself what Brad Pitt would do. (8/19/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Dazzled by Michael Kinsley's trout, our columnist contemplates an image change. (7/29/06)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Our columnist gets in touch with his own inner Philbin. Regis, that is. (7/15/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Name changing and identity games just ain't what they used to be. (7/1/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
Careers of yesterday for people of tomorrow. (6/17/96)

Ill Humor. By Ian Shoales
Putting the eeeeee back in Valujet. (6/03/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
A modest proposal for a new genre of children's books: Kid Noir.(5/20/96)

Ill Humor By Ian Shoales
When technophiles take over the libraries, books need all the help they can get. (5/06/96)

Ill Humor: By Ian Shoales
The very last word about postmodernism.(4/22/96)

Ill Humor: People Get Ready. By Ian Shoales.
Angrily responding to weird claims that the decline in bowling is a measure of America's spiritual emptiness (or something), our man seizes his ball and monogrammed shirt and strides forth to do battle. (4/6/96)

Ill Humor. June Bugs of the Millenium. By Ian Shoales.
The author investigates the squishy question of just why NPR is aggressively proclaiming its similiarity to insect innards. (3/23/96)

Ill Humor. Death's Little Bureaucrats. By Ian Shoales.
Today's executions just don't have that festive, sadistic quality America wants and needs. (3/9/96)

Ill Humor. Ian Shoales asks if being in a coma is any excuse for not getting online. (2/24/96)

Ill Humor. Ian Shoales insists, even under duress, that his momma is a gangsta. (2/10/96)

Ill Humor. Ian Shoales casts a jaundiced eye over the lowlights of 1995. (1/13/96)

Ill Humor. A famously increasing number of extremely boring famous people are famous because they are famous, says the infamous Ian Shoales. (12/30/95)

Ill Humor. Ian Shoales provides stunning, incomparable and vibrant examples of the how the language of marketing hype is providing America with a new, improved line of patter. (12/16/95)

Ill Humor. Ian Shoales' pet peeves run wild on the infobahn. (12/2/95)

Ill Humor: Ian Shoales turns his numerologically-impaired mind upon Louis Farrakhan's inexplicable equations and Saddam Hussein's highly explicable popularity. (11/20/95)















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