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Blow me down! It's the Rime of the Ancient Unabomber
Move over, James Cameron -- Ted Kaczynski has a boat story to tell! Plus: What's that moose doing in my pool? The backstroke!

Tony: Portrait of a cereal killer
When hot tubs are outlawed; what if God was a doper? Son of Sam killer not lookin' back; and the importance of knowing where your wallet is at all times.

Last roundup at the Mustang Ranch
Bordellos R Us: In the Nevada desert, a new management style is coming to the world's oldest profession.

nataS er'uoy siht daer nac uoy fI
"Mexican Madonna" on the run from sex charges; did singer include secret satanic messages on her records? And how do you play a CD backward?

Is the Mafia going the way of the great auk?
Pas de deux in dreamland with a working-class hero. Extinction alert: Goodfellas now an endangered species.

The Kevlar dictator
Bullets can't touch him. He's impervious to poison. And bombs -- Ha! He laughs at your bombs!

Busted! Speed-shopping while black
Armed with an AmEx card designed to function silently, a scalawag aliased Raydog pulls a fast one.

The muddle people
Hey, knuckleheads! Ya wanta live in our kountry, learn to speak our langkwage; Hitler's paintings: No wonder he went into the dictator business. Plus: Woman hurtles off cliff, hangs onto cell phone, rescuer gripes about audio quality.

Flash: Bond bandit bites baguette!
And other information you don't need, but the Times of London insists on giving you.

Other than that, Mrs. Oswald, how did you enjoy Minsk?
From the mixed-up files of Mr. Lee Harvey Oswald; plus a sad story about a bull who fatefully lost his way on the road to Pamplona, and a touching Wittgensteinian lesson about backing up our work on the computer.

Feds deny wiring wise guy's wazoo
Like great art, masterful crime writing can move our souls and thrill our hearts while conveying a timeless, yet utterly human, story.

Vegas' splitting headache
Jeepers creepers, voters follow bouncing peepers! New goodfella-in-chief has never been accused of engaging in oral sex, or giving "Leaves of Grass" to young women. In other words, he's squeaky clean by today's standards.

The FBI's new secret weapon:snide prose
In the bureau's wanted-poster department, a budding poet blooms.

The teachings of Bill Bonanno: A wise-guy way of knowledge
What is the sound of one hit man pontificating? Ex-mafiosi Bill Bonanno offers up New Age wisdom, made man-style.

Naked came the burglar; or, the cruel winds of fate
There are a thousand stories in the Naked City -- but almost none of them involve the Lord of Flatulence.

The man who mistook a breast for a $50 bill
Vegas' mob past rises up and bites its neon butt; Marla's shoe-loving man convicted.

The CIA's purple haze
TV stars run amok; geriatric criminals terrorize nation.

Amy Fisher, magical mistress of multitasking
Lecherous judges, Marla's spurned shoes and Exxon's exxcellent adventure in non-payment.

The continuing saga of the beast with two soles
Darryl Strawberry out-torques Torquemada; the Great Buddha of crime reporting catches a cab.

Killer, Ellroy and Marla's pumps
What do the Osaka mafia, Snoop Dogg, Chuck Jones and Charles Keating Jr. have in common?

Want crime with that?
One gets a powerful hunger when covering the dark side.

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